The Day Will Come

The day will come when I don't have four kiddos at home to create my 12 loads of laundry.
The day will come when I don't have kiddos at home to put muddy hand prints on my door.
The day will come when the baby will sleep through the night because she will be sixteen... then she probably wont want to wake up!
The day will come when my hubby wont be staying up until the wee hours of the night doing reading for school because this time in school will pass and then he will have to find other ways to sharpen his mind and enrich himself.
The day will come when the plastic wheel barrow my little one left by the side of my husbands bed, leaving it to be tripped over will not be there... because my three year old will grow to have hobbies that aren't at home.
The day will come when the fears of today will either come to pass or they wont.
The day will come when hopefully my children will be hugging their own children or giving them late night snacks, or having cuddle time with their children because they remember their mother doing it to them.
The day will come that my hubby will find the hidden nursing pad amongst his belongings and I will laugh!!!  (I'm actually laughing now just thinking about it)
The day will come when I wont have stretch marks because my wrinkles will cover them... or my saggy chest!  Which ever comes first.
The day will come... so I'm glad I have today!

what do I want to be?

My hubby and I went to dinner tonight.  It was a resturant located within an outside mall.  There was a concert, tons of fun shops, restraunts and of course a WIDE variety of people.  As we drove home, we of course began talking of lifes mysteries (something we like to do).  I began to think of who I wanted to be.  Would I one day grow up to be the blond with the pony tale who was pregnant?  The grandma who was in designer jeans or the older married couple who were chatting with a bunch of friends.  As I pondered the question, "who do I want to be"  the thought popped into my head, "life is not who you want to be but rather discovering who you already are."  So, who am I?  Like my yoga video says, "an infinate source of knowledge and experience."  and I would add, one who likes chocolate!  "Who are you... really?"

new shoes

for my thirtyeth birthday my son picked out for me a pair of six inch platformish high heels--lepord with a big black bow. i have to tell you. i've never owned a pair of shoes like that before.  Why? because I wear a size three, only tend o buy Payless specials that can last for many years!  I was raised on a budget and had trained myself to think"Pratical!" There was definatly nothing practical about these shoes other than the price.  I looked at my son, how could I squash his fun.  So I purchased them.  To be honest I loved the shoes and always looked with envy at the woman who could pull them off.  "Not me" I would tell myself.  To make a long story short. I bought the shoes and have loved them and enjoy whereing them any chance I can.  Which as a stay at home mom isn't often.  However, sometimes I where them in my pjs as I kiss my hubby off to work.  And sometimes I when no one else is home as I put laundry away just because I can and everytime I do I am reminded that I am allowed beautiful creations reflecting the self.  But there is a really neat part to this story.

The first time I wore them I thought I was going to die! Maceys. To buy groceries. I barely made it to the car! I learned quickly that soft lawn and heals don't match! When I got to the store,  I grabbed the nearest cart!!  I felt like a geriatirics with a walker.  With hips tucked and all I shuffled through the store.   It was a sight, I am sure! I made it one lap around the store and my feet were killing me.  Without even thinking I offered a silent prayer, "Heavenly Father, how do I walk in these!"  The prayer was more an expression of disbelief that anyone could rather than one for help, but I got a relpy!  Without words to explain how, my mind began to understand how to relax, stand up straight and stop shuffling.  I began to gain confidence. I couldn't believe it!
It makes me think of how the Savior has taught me how to wear my mothering shoes as well. My mothering shoes, my friend shoes, my spouse shoes, and once more my daughter of God shoes.  He has taught me who "I really am" and is helping me find comfort in wearing them around others as well. I venture to say, this is because he has worn our shoes.  What kind of shoes does he see you in?

What impacts our happiness

Sometimes in life we make ourselves seem more complicated then we really are. Sometimes we wonder why we are really quite miserable inside.  We may ask ourselves, "why do I feel like this, I have a home, a family, food in my cupboards (more or less) and relative good health, yet why the sorrow?  Maybe I just need to serve more?" Sometimes service is a good answer, but other times it is a way to put off a basic need we have spiritually, emotionally, socially, or physically that we just aren't willing to address.  We might be better off to check those basic areas in our lives to make sure that they all are being watered, kept healthy and that we are maintaining balance within them.  Try asking yourself,   "Am I reading my scriptures? Am I clean (spiritually)? Am I eating foods that are nutritious and fun?  Do I get sleep? Do I get fresh air?  Do I have rolls in the hay with my spouse or do I even want too (if no, theres some emotional red flag issues that cause major disturbances within!) Am I spending time with others?  Do those others inspire and lift? Do I lift them and do I let them into me?  Do I need some alone time? Am I learning? Are my spending or eating habits filling gaps in things that I just don't want to have to address (bored, lonely, low self esteem)?" 

Its funny how we seek to balance our children, spouse, friends and relatives but we are terrible at doing that first.  Now as a grown woman, I can honestly say that my habits reflect more on what I saw my mother doing on a day to day, week to week basis then what she "told me" would be good.

I hope this adds to your happiness out there moms. My happiness was lacking this week and after a good honest look I realized that I was so busy taking care of everyone else, I forgot to keep doing these basics for myself!